Hope you are all enjoying the newsletters are much as I am. They are getting better by the minute. We have included the first installment of "How To" in this newsletter. I would like to ask for some volunteers to write on different subjects that new people could benefit from. Thanks to everyone for helping me make the newsletter something you enjoy receiving and reading.

Ms.Boots

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Hello,

There has been a rash of so called MSCHAT2.5 patches,fixes or Crack files that people have been talking about lately. If anyone offers you one please be careful as no one seems to know what they are. If you ever do get one do not click on it. I would appreciate it if you would forward it/them to me please. So that I can get them analyzed to see if they are safe. They may just be fun things but on the other hand they may be trouble.

Thanks

;)

I would very much appreciate getting them or if you know where I can get my hands on some please email me.

Have a good one!

Fran ... AKA ...Meta

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Here is Slippy's, Part 1 of "How to create your own web site". . I have tried it and it works just as easy as he has explained it. Have fun!

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Here's another one that I liked...

DanCer

A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin. "This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform.

He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon. She responded:

"My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna be great!

'My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.

My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the system up.

My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, 'Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.'

My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department and said that he had the orders, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver.

My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. His comments were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether or not it was his job.

My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations and told me that he was up to the standards but that regulations said nothing about how to do it.

My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. He said, "I know I have the product. I'm just not sure how to position it."

My tenth husband was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.

My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.

My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was..........God I miss him!

So now I have married a lawyer, so now I know I'm going to finally get screwed."

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More wonderful jokes and stories from Cuddlybear!

Walking into the bar, Harvey said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah," said Eddie. "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Harvey replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say"?

"She said, 'Come out from under that bed, you gutless weasel

====================

The Insurance Policy

Rex's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."

The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."

There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."

======================

The Miracle of a Brother's Song

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3 year old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They found out that the new baby was going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his little sister in Mommy's tummy.

He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her. The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown, Tennessee. In time, the labor pains came.

Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor. Would a C-section be required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville,Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatric specialist regretfully had to tell the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst."

Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby-but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.

Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. "I want to sing to her," he kept saying. Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over.

Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in the Intensive Care. Karen made up her mind, though. She would take Michael whether they liked it or not! If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive.

She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed "Get that kid out of here now! NO children are allowed!" The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!"

Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure hearted voice of a 3-year-old Michael sang: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray." Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. Her pulse rate began to calm down and become steady. "Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes. "You never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr. "Keep on singing, sweetheart!!" "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my hands..." Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.

"Keep on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine away...."

The next, day ... the very next day ... the little girl was well enough to go home! "Women's Day Magazine" called it "The Miracle of a Brother's Song." The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love!

Never give up on the people you love. Love is so Incredibly powerful.

Please send this to all the people that have touched your life in some way.

==============================

A little girl and her mother were shopping. The girl asks her mother "How old are you?" Mommy says
"Honey, women don't talk about their age, you'll learn later on in life."

The girl then asks, "Mommy. How much do you weigh?" Mommy says, That's another thing women
don't talk about, you'll find out when you are grown up.

"The girl still wanting to know about her mother asks, "Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?" Mommy says, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl is frustrated. She tells her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's drivers license. It's just like a report card, it tells you everything."

The little girl and her mother are shopping again. The girl says, "Mommy, I know how old you are. You are 32 years old." Mommy is very shocked! She asks "Sweetheart how did you do that?" The girl shrugs and says, "I just know, and I know how much you weigh. You weigh 120 pounds." The mother is flabbergasted. She asks, "Where did you learn that?" The little girl says, "I just know, that's all, and I know why you and daddy got a divorce.

You got an 'F' in sex."

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