Seems I never get tired of jokes and stories. Everyone needs to put a little laughter into their day. It will make you feel 100% better! Hope you are enjoying the newsletter. If you have any news you would like to share, please do not hesitate to let us know. Ms.Boots

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News Flash

Internet Explorer 5.0 has been released in the last few moments (March 18, 1999). I had been using the beta for months, and have been quite impressed with the speed and functionality of this browser.
It can be had for free at http://www.msn.com The browser version was almost 8 megs, full install being over 17 megs.
Enjoy : )

Mig

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Can anyone of ya help me with a problem... When I open a site, I always end up with a script error and it says interface could not be supported, this is cause me the inability to enter certain sites and is very irritating, if you know what I can do, please help, I use IE 4.0.
Thanx

Dupa

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You can try this Dupa
To fix "Script Error" messages, first; Go to "View" "Internet Options" and press on delete files. Next go to "View" "Internet Options" "Security" and set your security at "Medium", Next go to "Advanced" and find "Cookies" Set to "Always Accept" click "OK" to close, then try.

Hope this helps

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Hello Everyone,

I need your help guys *lol*. My kids want to play marbles and they have a bunch however they asked me how to play. Well I don't remember how?? *lol*. Do any of you remember how to? Would love to get a few ideas or games.

Thanks

Meta

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LOL… I just love this from DanCer...

I laughed so hard. You got to read it aloud with the accent.. smirk** these really happened.....

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem". The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.

They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy. They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down
for a few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, "Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too fockin' dangerous for me"

===== PART TWO =======

A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. "Hi, Paddy. Watch this", Seamus says and launches himself over the edge off the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat parrot shooting nider"

======- PART THREE =======

A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself of the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Gerrywit his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now you blimmin' hen glidin!

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Thanks Toraman, for the jokes....

John Cleese, a Brit, was on American TV recently, and was asked for the differences between English and American people. In reply he said that there were three major differences...

1. We speak English and you don't.

2. When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries

3. When you meet the head of state in England, you only have to go down on one knee...

= = = = = =

Toraman also sent this JPEG! hehehe

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Hope you like these from Sqiz.

What's the difference between a man and yoghurt ? Yoghurt has culture.

What's the difference between men and whales ? Whales mate for life.

What do you call an intelligent man in France ? A tourist.

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Wife: Where do you want to go on holiday this year ?

Husband: I want to go somewhere I've never been.

Wife: How about the kitchen ?

- - - - -

The neighbor said to the man. "You should close your curtains at night. Last night, I saw you and your wife making love through the living room window."

"Ha, Ha," said the man. "The joke's on you. I wasn't even home !"

- - - - -

Husband: Darling, if I died, would you get remarried ? Wife: I suppose so.

Husband: Would you sleep in the same bed ? Wife: He would be my husband, dear.

Husband: Would you give him my golf clubs ? Wife: No. He's left-handed

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To all football fans, you will love this one from Cuddlybear!

John Madden was in Denver to announce a football game one weekend when he noticed a special phone near the Broncos' bench. He asked Coach Shanahan what it was for and was told it was a hotline to God.
John asked the coach if he could use it, and the coach said: "Sure, but it will cost you $100."

Madden scratched his head, then said: "What the heck, I need some help picking some games." He pulled out his wallet and paid the $100.

Madden was perfect that week.

The next weekend, Madden was in Green Bay when he noticed the same kind of phone near the Green Bay bench. He asked Coach Holmgren what the phone was for, and Mike said: " It's a hotline to God, and if you
want to use it, it will cost you $100." Recalling the previous week, Madden pulled out his wallet and gladly paid the $100.

Once again, Madden was perfect.

The next weekend, Madden was in Dallas at Texas Stadium when he noticed the same phone near the Cowboy's bench. He asked Coach Gailey if it was a hotline to God. Chan said, "Yes it is. Do you want to use it? It'll cost you 35 cents."

Madden looked at Coach Gailey and said, "Wait a minute! I just paid $100 in Denver and $100 in Green Bay to use the same phone! Why in Dallas do they only charge 35 cents?"

Chan looked at Madden and replied very matter-of-factly, "In Texas, it's a local call."

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The world's greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the
charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a
very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees.

Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young women.

The second and fourth ladies are holding their breasts, while the other five have their backs to him and are
baring their behinds.

The charade player barely glances over them and says, "The William Tell Overture by Rossini."

The flabbergasted producer says in awe, "You've done it!. That's the right answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!" and hands him a check for a million bucks.

Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how he did it.

"It's really simple," says the charade player. "One look at the positions of the seven women, and I realized it as the William Tell Overture."

"Rump... titty... rump... titty... rump... rump... rump."

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Something to think about:

Plans get you into things, but you got to work your way out!

by Will Rogers

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